We have been told time and time again, that when somebody did us wrong, we needed to forgive them. That through forgiveness, we would be able to move on. I agree. However, the forgiveness is always directed toward the person who has hurt us. I only half agree with that.
I’ve been writing about our belief system, and how our lives reflect what our beliefs dictate. And so, the person who has “hurt” us was basically acting out exactly how our belief system expected them to. So why are we so shocked and surprised?
“Every man I get involved with, cheats on me!” or “I always attract someone with a substance abuse problem.” When we don’t change what we believe about ourselves, these can be beliefs that will keep on giving.
Everything we believe will ultimately happen.
When you become aware of what negative situation you are experiencing, you can then have the ability and awareness to walk away from that situation. If you keep walking away, you are sending out the message that this is no longer an appropriate experience for you. Or, that you no longer need this lesson in your life.
Getting back to forgiveness, I have noticed that the person who is doing the forgiving, that many times the ego is hugely present. “I (and that’s a really big “I”), forgive you” (that’s a small you, if you haven’t already guessed). “I am the better and bigger person, and I forgive you.” Is that really forgiving? Forgiveness is allowing yourself to detach from the emotional attachment that the ego thrives on.
The best way I have found to detach myself from holding on to the hurt, is to forgive myself. Is this messing with your mind? Let me explain. If it is our belief system that attracts someone or a situation into our lives that will act accordingly to our beliefs, then we are actually, a willing participant in what we experience. And by taking responsibility for ourselves (and our beliefs), we can begin to change our way of thinking and then change what we are experiencing in our lives.
Forgive yourself for everything you have participated in, that gave you heartache or embarrassment. Forgive and love yourself for the magnificent being that you are, and go on to experience the beauty and opportunities that life has to offer. Forgive yourself first, and everything else just falls into place.