Tag Archives: beliefs


We have been told time and time again, that when somebody did us wrong, we needed to forgive them. That through forgiveness, we would be able to move on. I agree. However, the forgiveness is always directed toward the person who has hurt us. I only half agree with that.

I’ve been writing about our belief system, and how our lives reflect what our beliefs dictate. And so, the person who has “hurt” us was basically acting out exactly how our belief system expected them to. So why are we so shocked and surprised?

“Every man I get involved with, cheats on me!” or “I always attract someone with a substance abuse problem.” When we don’t change what we believe about ourselves, these can be beliefs that will keep on giving.

Everything we believe will ultimately happen.

When you become aware of what negative situation you are experiencing, you can then have the ability and awareness to walk away from that situation. If you keep walking away, you are sending out the message that this is no longer an appropriate experience for you. Or, that you no longer need this lesson in your life.

Getting back to forgiveness, I have noticed that the person who is doing the forgiving, that many times the ego is hugely present. “I (and that’s a really big “I”), forgive you” (that’s a small you, if you haven’t already guessed). “I am the better and bigger person, and I forgive you.” Is that really forgiving? Forgiveness is allowing yourself to detach from the emotional attachment that the ego thrives on.

The best way I have found to detach myself from holding on to the hurt, is to forgive myself. Is this messing with your mind? Let me explain. If it is our belief system that attracts someone or a situation into our lives that will act accordingly to our beliefs, then we are actually, a willing participant in what we experience. And by taking responsibility for ourselves (and our beliefs), we can begin to change our way of thinking and then change what we are experiencing in our lives.

Forgive yourself for everything you have participated in, that gave you heartache or embarrassment. Forgive and love yourself for the magnificent being that you are, and go on to experience the beauty and opportunities that life has to offer. Forgive yourself first, and everything else just falls into place.

A New Paradigm


By now, most people have heard of the mystery that surrounded December 21, 2012. Many theories have emerged, including an apocalyptic end of the planet and all humanity. Of course, that did not happen.

An end of sorts is happening, however, at this moment in history. We are being given a choice: do we want to end the way we have been living our lives? We can choose to live our lives differently. In a new way.

We can stop living our lives according to our old belief system or paradigm.


When we are very young, we are like little sponges absorbing every belief, gesture and nuance from our parents who have learned their beliefs from their parents, each generation coloring these beliefs according to their own life experiences. Inevitably, we follow the same pattern.

These beliefs could be any number of things including:

  • Low self-esteem
  • Not deserving money
  • Having a loving relationship
  • Being either anorexic or overweight
  • Feeling unattractive,
  • etc.

When we hold on to a belief, it serves as our truth– and that truth keeps manifesting time and time again. I’m sure you’ve heard of someone who grew up with an alcoholic parent and as an adult keeps unintentionally and quite subconsciously keep meeting and getting involved with alcoholics.

Years ago, I had a very good friend who was a very warm and generous person but who had the belief that he was undeserving. He always drove an old car, and was thinking of purchasing another used car. I asked him why he didn’t ever consider buying a new car so that he wouldn’t have to continuously pay for mechanical problems. He told me that he feared buying new cars because of a fear of buying a “lemon”.

Of course I didn’t understand his fear because I always bought new cars and never had a problem with them.

About a year later, he purchased a car that was new. Almost immediately after he bought it he started having trouble with it. He exclaimed to me “You see, that’s why I don’t buy new cars”.

I realized he had manifested his belief. Our belief system will always prove that it’s right, and because of this, we are entirely responsible for what we draw to us. That is why it is very important that we become very aware of what and how we think at all times.

I have often heard stories of people that have broken up with a partner or divorced a spouse ranting about how horrible their “ex” was and so on. I point out to them that they were a willing participant in the relationship and need to take responsibility for their part in it. The normal response is pointing the finger at the other person, but it is their belief system that attracted them to this situation in the first place.

When we take responsibility and understand our part in the situation, we start to heal the dysfunction as we begin to change our paradigm to accept a new way of living and thinking. We then can start attracting relationships that are healthy and not destructive.

Awareness Is Everything.

We must become aware of our emotional baggage and being honest with ourselves is crucial. We must ask ourselves:

  • What do I really want in my life?
  • Why haven’t I ever received it?
  • What do I need to change in my beliefs in order to receive what I want?

When we become totally honest with ourselves is when we get insight into the problem, that creates the awareness we need to emotionally evolve and move forward with our life.

These writings may be reproduced in entirety but must include the following details:
Written by Alex of Avalon, www.alexofavalon.com